Ah, Wednesday

Oh, how we love Wednesday’s in Lander. Hump day. Not another day in the week like it.

What is so special about Wednesday,” you ask?

Wednesdays aren’t just the mid-point of the week; Wednesdays are a bastion of historical significance. Nearly everything important in the world has happened, or will happen on a Wednesday. The Treaty of Paris, which ended the American Revolution, was signed on September 3, 1783 . . . a Wednesday. The 19th Amendment granting women’s suffrage . . . passed on a Wednesday. Edison and the light bulb. Wednesday. The Wright Brothers first took flight when? On a Wednesday! And if you consult the Thai solar calendar, you can learn that Wednesdays, green and the planet Mercury go hand in hand (in hand).

But this isn’t all that makes Wednesdays special. You see, the Lander Journal, our local paper, comes out on Sundays and Wednesdays. And while it might come as a surprise, the Wednesday edition is, by far, the better paper to read.

“Why is this,” you ask?

“The Wednesday edition contains the weekly Police Beat,” I say.

Without further ado, I present some highlights from this week’s Lander Journal Police Beat:

There were twelve calls fielded by the Lander Emergency Medical Services this past week. Here's my top three:

April 24

At 6:23 a.m., police received a call from a Dubois woman who reported that 11 horses were in her driveway.

April 25

At 1:21 a.m., police received a call about a fight in a saloon in Shoshoni. (ed: I thought fights happened at bars)

April 26

At 12:03 p.m., police received a call about a young female who appeared to be no older than 7 years old walking along the highway. The officer who responded reported that the girl was walking behind her cousin who was jogging ahead.

And a bonus from a couple weeks back:

April 3

At 1:17 a.m., police received a call from a Hudson woman who reported a foul smell coming from her bedroom. The woman thought it might be her husband.